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When Mama Has Limited Energy
By Kendra | March 1, 2010
I have recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I have four children 8 and under. There are days that my energy level and pain are quite bad and I really struggle through school. I don’t think that putting them in school is the answer. I know you can understand from your difficult pregnancies to your kidney stones. What do you do on those really bad days? More importantly what did you do on those days when the oldest was only 8?
-Kimm
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I have lupus (SLE) and fibromyalgia, four children (8, 4, 2.5 today and just turned 1, still nursing) and a deployed husband (gone 11 months with 4 to go). I feel I have a pretty decent handle on the housework thanks to FlyLady’s book (website was too crazy for me!), but the other aspects of homeschooling, trying to eat and feed the kids healthy, etc…, are just overwhelming me right now. I see so many areas where I’m lacking as a mom/teacher, primarily in character building/Christian training, because it seems like it’s just a struggle to make it through each day with the kids fed and schoolwork done, let alone adding anything.
-Catherine
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Kimm and Catherine asked these questions a long while ago, which is testimony to the fact that I can’t do everything, either. And then some!
Yes, I do have pregnancies with long bouts of illness and no energy. I also have spent a fair share of my time with three of my children in the hospital over the past eighteen months. I have ideas to share, but I find it is very hard to practice what I preach. It takes the encouragement of Scripture, the support of friends, and the patient reminders of my husband, who is also my biggest cheerleader.
Turning the topic on its ear for just a bit here, please hear me– if you have a friend who is struggling because of a physical ailment, pregnancy, a hospitalized child (particularly those who spend exorbitant amounts of time there with sick kids), a difficult marriage, or a host of other situations that put an irregular strain on homeschooling, would you please take the time to email them and encourage them? Having friends and sisters do this for me was often the difference between lifting my eyes to heaven for strength and falling apart in utter despair.
That said, I think it’s easy to forget that classroom teachers go through the same things. I had two pregnant teachers in high school, one whose baby was stillborn. It was a rocky year, to say the least. She did her best, and we did fine, but I’m sure she felt that she wasn’t the best teacher she could have been, either.
In second grade I had a teacher who was going through a nasty divorce plus the illness of her father, and she relieved her stress by throwing erasers at us and dumping our desks over. See? It could be worse.
So what are some practical things you can do to make schooling at home a reality even through the tough times? I’ve pinpointed strategies we have in place in our home, but I’d love for others to chime in so that you can glean lots of ideas.
1. Planning. There is nothing like a well-planned school year, period. With spring break and then summer coming our way shortly, I’d encourage you to start jotting down what each child will be doing next school year and get to planning. I’ve written about mega-school-planning before here. There’s more here.
2. Workboxes or Workfiles. Quite simply, the schooling of my six-year-old continued while I was in the hospital with our eight-year-old only because I had pre-filled her workfile. I cannot say enough about this approach for the youngest students in our home. Dana has done essentially the same thing, but in a binder.
3. Identify the most important things to accomplish each day. For me, laundry, meals, and schoolwork are what I can handle during four months of morning sickness. Everything else goes on the back burner.
4. Even so, minimize the commitment. That means that children will have to pitch in and help with laundry, dinner will be simple, and school will be on autopilot. This is not the time for field trips, unless you need a gulp of fresh air and a nature walk fits the bill.
5. Ask for help. And so, if all I’m doing are laundry, meals, and school, who’s cleaning the toilets? Again, this is where a little forethought can be helpful. I’m kinda into clean toilets. And somewhere along the line my husband saw me struggling to mop the kitchen floor while hugely pregnant and decided he’d take over the job. Love that man! But sometimes people don’t see our needs and so we simply need to ask.
6. Utilize the incredible resources on the home education market. Including online classes. Boy howdy, when our firstborn took his first online class I about jumped through the ceiling with joy. I wasn’t overseeing his assignments. I wasn’t the one who gave him a B on his final. Lovely! Off the top of my head, there’s Veritas Press Scholars Academy, Memoria Press Online Courses, Schola Tutorials, Constitutional Law for Enlightened Citizens (the first course my son took, and we were so impressed), and local junior college online courses that have also been terrific for us.
Switched On Schoolhouse is a huge help to many families. So is Robinson Curriculum. I take advantage of audio courses that we all listen to, as well as audiobooks.
7. Lastly, remove the pressure on yourself. There is no right way to homeschool for every family. Ask the Lord and your husband what the goals should be for your children, and then steadily work toward them.
Topics: Educating at Home, Nurturing Moms | 11 Comments »
March 1st, 2010 at 12:31 am
Kimm and Catherine. I will never complain about sleepless nights with my two again. You are amazing ladies to have so many kids, illness to deal with, a husband overseas and to homeschool as well!
March 1st, 2010 at 1:29 am
I’ve read about work boxes here previously and I love the idea of them and really want to incorporate them into our system. I just returned from helping out my friend who’s 2 week old baby had to return to the hospital and her husband had to be at work. My kids’ school time suffered a bit as Daddy didn’t really know the routine and the trip was so last minute I didn’t have time to plan and get every thing ready for him so we basically missed a week of school.
March 1st, 2010 at 4:33 am
Great tips, Kendra! We had a school year when we moved my mom into our old house with us (it was pretty crowded!) after she sold hers, we thought we were moving out of state, hubby didn’t have a job yet, I was pregnant with number 7 and feeling horrible. All extracurricular activities were put on hold and life was pretty peaceful because all I had were school, church, and keeping them fed. I got a lot of help from my mom. But there were some days I needed to ask for help. It’s hard to ask for help, but people are so willing if you ask them.
March 1st, 2010 at 7:11 am
I have recently been in such a situation. I had a very difficult pregnancy, which left me very much less than myself last year. Then, just after Christmas, my baby arrived in trauma. It has been two months and I am still in pain as I sit here and read this post.
However, the Lord is teaching me so much. I recently read from Amy Carmichael: “Beware of the barrenness of a busy life.” I am taking each day to the Lord and asking him to show me how he wants me to bear fruit for him in that day. Knowing that I can not do it all — or even the basics sometimes — I must make sure I am spending each moment in what the Lord desires, making each moment bear fruit for him.
I am learning this, not there yet! But, I am thankful for this time of trial. It has slowed me down, righted my focus and given me some very precious moments of enjoying my five children under age ten. Thank the Lord that his purposes are higher than ours… that even when we wouldn’t plan such for ourselves, he is RIGHT and GOOD. What rest!
Thank you for your helpful blog!
Love and peace, Amy Ellen
March 1st, 2010 at 11:29 am
Thank you, thank you thank you! I truly questioned whether I was called to homeschool because of my health limitations. What an encouragement to know you are all out there too! How did you know that you were doing enough. Also my kids think they should lie down just because I need to. How do I keep them going? What worked for you?
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:42 am
Especially like the part about “if you know someone who. . .” –which I do. And yet, I feel like I’m “failing” in my housekeeping and home schooling, not enough time to do all that I’m needing (wanting?) to do anyway. Where do I find the extra time to help someone with their laundry, ie, when mine is piling up?
March 2nd, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Thank you!
I found out I was pregnant with #4 last week. This was a BIG surprise to us: #1 is only going to be just 5 when, God willing, this little one arrives, with a 3 and a 2 in between. So I was thinking how do I spend these next 9 months constructively for my eldest (we’re in Britain so we have to teach them from 4/5) and make sure we’re all set for the next academic year too… This post could not be better timed for us. Thank you: what an answer to prayer!!
My floors are now not quite as clean as usual, and there is a bundle of workbooks on its way to me… and I’ll be getting a mystery of history CD in due course. And the nausea feels so much more manageable now!
thanks
March 3rd, 2010 at 7:46 am
Thanks for the encouragement. I’m pregnant with number 4 and of course can think of other moms who can use the encouragement as well.
March 5th, 2010 at 4:07 am
[...] When Mama Has No Energy – Preschoolers & Peace [...]
March 10th, 2010 at 6:09 am
Love this post! Thanks for the reminder to be an encouragement to those having a hard time.
March 22nd, 2010 at 12:03 am
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