Troubleshooting: Very Busy Boys
Wednesday, March 9, 2011 at 12:41AM Shannon wrote:
I have two strong willed children–I used to think ALL of my children were strong willed (until these two showed up)- one three, the other five. The five-year-old I cannot find enough to do with. I read with him almost daily and he is doing very well, but honestly there are not enough trees to keep him occupied with worksheets.
The three-year-old is bright, but doesn’t show ANY interest in anything educational for lack of a better word.
What do I do with these two short of sitting them in front of the “box”?
And Diana wrote:
Still need help with very active Boys! My boys are now 4, 1 and 3 months….what are some good standard boy toys? What do you do to entertain ages 4 and below during the school day?
And Amy wrote:
My question is what to do with my two-year-old daughter while the rest of the children are being taught.
Last week I was doing a history lesson with four of the kids in our schoolroom, which is right around the corner from my room where the 4-year-old and the 2-year-old were supposed to be watching Sesame Street. In walks the 4-year-old declaring, "Mom, Joey's playing with the water in your bathroom!" Off I run to survey the damage, but Joe isn't in the bathroom, he's in the playpen where I put him to begin with. Hmmmmm...
What I did find was a massive flood, caused by one naughty 4-year-old who stopped up the sink and flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the bottom of a suitcase I had packed and filling toothpaste holders in the cupboard doors. And he tried to pin it on his younger brother!
I feel your pain.
Today I sit 2500 miles away from those little boys, my head a little clearer and a plan forming in my mind. When I return, I am going to structure their mornings differently, with the operative word being "structure". So far, what they are doing to fill a few morning hours has worked, but obviously I need to give them a few more planned activities, don't you think?
I'll start by making a list of all the possibilities, and an estimate of the time they will take to accomplish:
chores with an older sibling (15 minutes)
coloring at the schoolroom table (5 minutes)
put away coloring (1 minutes)
Sesame Street (1 hour)
ride cars on back patio (15 minutes)
build trains in family room (45 minutes for 4-year-old) At the same time...
...play in play yard (45 minutes for 2-year-old)
reading time with mom (15 minutes)
play outside on trampoline or with sand and water table (15 minutes)
clean up for lunch (2 minutes)
sit at table and look at books while lunch is being prepared (15 minutes)
lunch and clean up (20 minutes) 3 hrs 25 mins
play outside or toys inside in family room (30 minutes)
Total: 3 hours and 55 minutes, which will take me from 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. We generally finish breakfast, short devotions, and breakfast clean-up by 9:30 a.m., and naptime is at 1:30 p.m.
On the other end of this are 5 students who need to be doing productive things during our mornings. Once I have a good flow for my little guys, I can figure out how to direct the traffic of the more independent kids during that time. I'll oversee the little ones, but I can keep a good eye on the older ones and make sure they're on track.
♥
Make your list first. What are all the possible ways you can keep those very busy guys busy? Brainstorm everything from crafts to workbooks to reading aloud to taking a walk to an exercise DVD (Tony and the Kids and Shaun T's Fit Kids Club are our favorites) to simple chores to baking to riding little cars outside, etc.
Figure out how much time you need to fill, and how much time each activity will take. Be realistic. I don't know about your boys, but mine have the attention span of a gnat. Coloring truly lasts only 5 minutes.
Make sure you have enough activities to fill up the time you have. If you don't, you'll find a flood in your bathroom.
♥
Speaking of floods, my young man was supposed to be doing something but wasn't. Clearly, he had disobeyed. We are working on him staying where I've put him for as long as I say he needs to be there, but he continues to push me on this. I say, "Sit down in your seat" [at the table] 157 times every day, and I know I'm not going about it the wrong way. He gets disciplined. It's not a training issue. It's the child.
Some of them need maturity to get over things, some of them need time, some of them take years to get something, some of them never get it. But that's like me, and isn't it like you? I'm 40 years old and I am still working away on character issues and sin and bad habits I've carried around for all of my 40 years. What I need for this little boy is heaps of patience and grace and long suffering. Just like our patient and gracious and long-suffering God.
Reader Comments (26)
The attention span of a gnat? That's hilarious, and so true of my 4 year old and 2 year old. Glad I'm not the only one. :)
This is a wonderful post. I enjoyed reading it and I gained some very practical ideas...
And the last two paragraphs are perfect. Exactly the perspective I needed today (and every day). Thank you.
Our littles love puzzles- Lauri are big favs, as are the wooden puzzles my mother-in-law buys on ebay. Also, for a child 4 or older, Mighty Mind puzzles are a lot of fun & educational.
My 4 year old also likes to play Blockus by himself- he tries to fit all the pieces on the board. When he is finished, he has to sort them all & put it back- easy 20-30 minute activity. :)
I also do blanket time up until age 3, when I switch to room time.
My little guy (5) and little gal (almost 3) tend to get into a bit of mischief while the big kids are doing school...usually if the little gal is left alone we know she's going to get into something. The other day she spilled half of her older sister's bottle of stinky grandma perfume all over her clothes and the bedroom floor. (She climbed up sister's bunk bed ladder to get to the shelf with all the pretties on it. So those pretties are now on my dresser.)
The thing that irks me most is that our little guy loves to fill an ice cream bucket with random "stuff" and take it all over the house. So when it's clean up time there are toys in the opposite end of the house where they need to be. I keep our puzzles and games in a locked closet or he'd be mixing Candy Land cards with Monopoly houses and calling it his "camping lunch" when he and sis make a tent up in the boys' room. *sigh* This too shall pass, I know, but so thankful for the ideas you shared. They need to be a bit more structured in their mornings. Thank you! :)
I forgot to add that I am so relieved to see that ya'll don't start your day until 9:30. I often feel like we are so behind because we don't start our day until that time, too. Phew! Safety in numbers! ;)
Thank you for this, especially those last two paragraphs! It seems I have been dealing with certain issues for so long, and it gets so discouraging. :( And it's good to know I'm not the only one who says "sit down in your seat" 157 times a day. :D
We did not homeschool preschool or Kindergarden (that was just the age we adopted our three.) However I have taught preschool at several levels over the years prior to kids.
My best advise for the 3-4 year olds is STATIONS (or Work boxes) and a TIMER. Depending on the child it could be 5 minutes at each station...or it could be 20+ minutes.
Some ideas...
Legos
Cars & a road mat
Tracing Letters w/different media
Floor Puzzle
Lincoln Logs
Bead-A-String (Something large enough it can not be swallowed or inserted anywhere it shouldn't be!)
or Patterning Exercise with Pop-Beads
Name writing practice
Magnetic Maze Puzzle
Wall mounted Match game with velcro pieces
Wooden Blocks
Crayola Color Wonder Sheet w/ Paints/Markers (no mess!)
Puppets
Take an inventory of toys you have on hand (that you trust the child unsupervised with, of course) and spiral out from there. My kids LOVE the timer. Yours may not...but if there is a reward at the end for getting all their 'work' done properly (say, a sticker on a reward chart?) they may be motivated to try it anyway.
Another suggestion? For larger families it might work to rotate an older sibling in and out of the preschoolers activities to help monitor and keep the littles engaged. :) (This also gives them a little break in their school day to look forward to also!)
Thank you!!
Thanks for sharing this! I'm starting to plan what our day might look like this fall when I have to start formally working with another little (or two). We have five eight and under and it's kind of overwhelming to think about micro-managing their day. Yet, I know that it will be helpful to have a more formal routine in place (as opposed to flooded bathrooms, wasted food, etc. ;) A number of things come to mind...puzzles, play dough, etc. Do you typically just set a timer and keep rotating activities? If so, how do you keep from getting overwhelmed when you have to interrupt working with one child to help the others switch activities? I'd love to know how this plays out more in your family!
Thanks!
Warmly,
Elizabeth
I have a 6 year old and an (almost) 4 year old sons. As well as a 4 month old daughter. I could very much relate to this entire post!
I too have been struggling with keeping our 4 year old busy while the 6 year old and I do school. I do have a few fun "school" type things for him to do at the kitchen table with us if he wants to do "school" but other then that he roams, and it isn't working!
I like your idea of making a list of activities that could keep them busy.
I also have to say that the last paragraph of this post spoke volumes to me! I could of written this about our 4 year old! Thank you for the reminder that we all have character defects!
Thank you, Kendra~ for the encouragement to PLAN some activities. I should do this, too, for my busy little *girls*! :)
Thank you Kendra!
I just recently discovered how to positively harness my 7 boys' competitive spirit along with getting some housework done. Each night after dinner, we have a floor cleaning contest. I divide the floor under the table in half and 2 of the children are assigned to clean a side. Whoever wins the competition gets extra computer time. Wow. Most of the time my boys can't clean without my constant accountability checks, yet now they have the floor sparkling (and this is all due to their own effort). This takes them about 15 minutes, and can be quite fun if the right attitude is fostered.
I'll add my thanks for this post! So far we've been in a good routine but there comes a point in each morning that the structure is done for the two littles and the chaos begins. I like the ideas you listed and Traci's stations idea...to the drawing board I go!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Mostly, in allowing me to have a little more grace for myself and my children. Each child is so different.
Camy, I LOVE your idea!
YES. ;) Thanks so much, sweetie. I know you know that I needed to hear this today!
This sounds so much like my 2 year old boy. We have also had to drop his afternoon rest. Keeping it meant that he didn't settle all evening which combined with waking in the small hours was a bit of a nightmare. He does settle reasonably well now although the waking in the very early morning continues.
I need to make a list. We use several different ideas-trays, puzzles, allowing a short time playing with water at the sink under supervision from me (his concentration span for this is amazing), time outside (although this also needs supervision), reading to him, DVDs but I still need many more ideas.
Thank you for this-it has given me some more ideas and I ought to put times to activities.
Any ideas for the afternoons?
Kendra, this says it all: "What I need for this little boy is heaps of patience and grace and long suffering. Just like our patient and gracious and long-suffering God."
That is where all our parenting needs to come from. So I say yeah and amen to that.
One thing I've learned from a mom at our church is "stations." I'll set up 3-4 stations, at each station there is an activity (e.g. puzzles, legos, cars, Aqua-doodle, etc. etc.). I start at station 1 and set a timer for however long I think Athan can realistically play at that station, when the timer dings, I move him to the next station and set the timer again. He absolutely LOVES this structure and if I forget to set the timer he will remind me. He loves doing things by timers. :-)
"it is the child". love that. we have one (our 6th, a boy) very high... everything that requires so much more training and love and patience. others don't understand since our other 6 kids are so well behaved, even the one younger than he, that he just requires so. much. more.
do you ever have a problem with your youngers not obeying/listening to the olders when they are under their care? this has become an increasingly frustrating problem for us and our 20/18/17 yos.
Yes, Jodi, that is a sticky subject. I'm not sure what the solution is, but at least for now we tell the younger ones that whenever we put the older ones in charge, they are to obey them just as they would any babysitter or other adult. If they disobey an older sibling's wise counsel, then we talk about the wisdom of listening to those who are older and wiser. But its gets complicated, doesn't it?
Here's a big hug, Kendra, for giving me fabulous ideas I can put into practice RIGHT AWAY! Thank you! And here's one we do around here for our little guys' wiggle breaks - an indoor rebounder / mini trampoline, right by our schooling area. Hope that helps someone. It is a lifesaver during the long cold winters.
Hi Kendra1 I love the graciousness of your post and as always, the good, down-to-earth advice. My question is concerning "blanket training". Do you do this with your little ones? I've got an extremely busy 18 mo. girl and right now she's got access to a couple of rooms while we do school. Not perfect by any means but we get by ok. She's just so active and interested and wants to be a part of everything that I can't imagine what it would take to get her trained to stay on a blanket or in a playpen. I'm wondering if you think it's essential to train them this way?
Hi Michelle-
Blanket training is great, but it certainly isn't essential. I haven't done it with all my kids, but I have appreciated it with the ones who could do it. If you don't feel this is the best way for your daughter, then is there some other way to keep her occupied during school time?
Kendra,
Thanks so much for resonding and yes, I really feel like there are several things that I could do instead. I really like the above mentioned "stations" approach. I just got 10 canvas bags for $2 at a yard sale. I'm thinking of filling all ten of them with different activities (AND embroidering the days of the week on them if time permits!) and giving each of my sons a bag and 30 minutes each to play with her so that I can work with the other son (I have 2 boys). I also love the idea of a sand/water table that I think you talked about. I was somewhat successful at training my guys to stay in a playpen for awhile when they were that age - but this little girl's got fire in the belly that neither of them had! I just can't imagine what it would take to train her to do that and if there's a different way to skin that cat I think I'll try it! I just wonder if not training her to be calm and quiet and by herself now will result in problems later. Thanks again for all of your help with so many things -
Michelle
Just a note to say- I'm feeling your pain, too.
http://shoeprints.blogspot.com/2011/04/disbelief.html for the story of wetness at our house tonight. This one happened after bedtime but could easily have been one of the million other shenanigans they've pulled during school hours.