In God’s House
Have you ever considered bringing your little ones into the worship service with you? When we had just two little boys, we dutifully sent them off to the nursery of our large church not knowing we could train them to be with us in the service. We were relieved to have free babysitting… but then we realized that God’s Word speaks to this very subject and that we needed to re-align our thinking to match God’s heart in Scripture. Consider this:
“There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded which Joshua did not read before all the assembly of Israel, with the women, the little ones, and the strangers who were living among them.” – Joshua 8:35
“Now all Judah, with their little ones, their wives, and their children stood before the Lord.” – 2 Chronicles 20:13
But what could a 2-year-old possibly gain by sitting in the church service? Don’t they need a felt board with little felt people to “get it”? Well, actually, we have been amazed over the years by what our children retain. When our 10-year-old was 3, she heard a sermon on the Biblical Abigail and five years later she still tells the story of Abigail riding on a donkey.
But we feel our children learn far more lasting things than a sermon here or there. They learn what it is to worship corporately. They learn that their daddy and mommy are contrite before the Lord, or joyful in singing songs and hymns. They see the dear elderly members of our church worshiping God, and they learn a reverence for God’s Word and worship. These things, we feel, are far more valuable than coloring a picture of David and his sling for the umpteenth time in their tiny lives.
And as for understanding the sermon, look again at the above verses. Do you know their context? These were the commands of God for services involving sacrifices. What, really, could a 2-year-old understand of the remission of sins through animal sacrifice? It doesn’t matter what we think they understand, because God had commanded that they be there. The Lord blessed us early on in our parenting with the example of a godly family training their little ones to worship with them in church. Sometimes seeing someone else is all the encouragement we need.
Here are some things we have learned over the years: First, let me say that if you’re not expecting first-time obedience at home, training a little one for church will not be easy and possibly even unobtainable. Jesus said, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Period. Children quickly learn to ignore empty threats.Sitting for church is a learned behavior. Don’t expect a toddler to instinctively know what is expected of him, especially if he’s never been in a worship service before. We have found that the best time to practice is during our own nightly family worship. We line the children up on the couch (yikes! we’re quickly running out of room!) in order of age and then Daddy begins to read the Word. We conduct ourselves like a mini-church service during our training times, and the little one gets better and better each week as we go. If I feel a little one needs extra training during the week, I sit him on my lap and have the older children read for 5-10 minutes while the little one learns to sit still and quietly.
When training those littlest ones, always be mindful of the rest of the congregation. Many churches nowadays are unaccustomed to having little ones in their services (some sadly don’t even allow them), and so we need to be aware that our little ones can be distracting if not trained well. I always sit at the back of the church until I know I can rely on the behavior of the trainee. Until then, I opt to take a child out of the service if they become disruptive and then discipline as the need arises.Sometimes a child needs help paying attention. They are, after all, children. Right now I choose a word of the day and tell our 4-year-old to gently touch my knee every time she hears the pastor say “love”, for example. My husband is a terrific cartoonist and he often will illustrate the sermon while it’s being preached. The children get a big kick out of it, but more importantly, the visual is a big help in their retention of what they are hearing. In the spirit of preparation and peace, be prepared!
Our church is in the practice of emailing each household the upcoming songs and Scripture references for the following Sunday’s service so that the fathers and other heads of households may prepare their families for worship. It creates an expectancy for the pinnacle of the week (worship) and it familiarizes all of us with hymns we may not know and the sermon passage as well. Maybe you could request the same from the leaders of your church home.
Saturday is often spent preparing for Sunday. Several of our children have Saturday chores that help prepare us all for worship.See Charts and Schedules. I make sure clothes are ironed and ready for the next day. Bagels and cream cheese are our usual Sunday morning fare because they are quick and not too messy. We rarely have people in our home on Saturday nights unless it’s understood that the evening will end early. Otherwise we all find ourselves falling asleep the next morning!
You may find the need to enforce certain guidelines with your children once you begin bringing them into the service. I can tell the difference between a child who genuinely needs to use the restroom and one who just thinks it’s neat to get up during the service. Isn’t it amazing how they’ll sit through a two-hour movie without having to get up??? I’m sure you’ll catch on to these little scenarios as well.
Robbie Castleman has written a wonderful and helpful book called Parenting in the Pew. I love what she has to say about teaching our children to worship: “Great baseball players are not made in the bleachers. Ballet dancing is not learned by remote control. Children learn to worship by worshiping- through participation, practice, and patience.”
More on the subject: Children Destroy Worshipful Atmospheres.
Eric Wallace has written a ground-breaking book on the subject of age-integrated worship. His book is entitled Uniting Church and Home.
J. Mark Fox wrote Family-Integrated Church as a chronicle of his years in ministry in a family-integrated chuch.
If you want your young ones to learn to worship alongside of you, you’re not alone!