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Questions, Answers, and Life
By Kendra | June 11, 2009
If you’ve emailed me recently to ask a question and haven’t heard back, please accept my apology. I’m swamped right now and need to focus on an eventful weekend ahead.
Cheryl and I have two more Marvelous Monday posts coming up, then I’ll get to answering those questions. But just a heads up- I may need to take July off 
Topics: Musings and Miscellany | 11 Comments »
June 12th, 2009 at 4:57 am
I won’t lie… I’m looking forward to your wisdom on nap time, but your priority is your family and life. Do what you need to do. The Lord knows the timing for it all!
Thanks for letting us know you are so busy!
Blessings,
Babychaser
June 13th, 2009 at 4:27 am
Go for it! You deserve the break! Looking forward to your return!
June 13th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Well, here’s another question to add to your list
Did you have a child that was/is just DIFFICULT? I feel at my wit’s end with my 4 1/2 year old daughter lately. Doesn’t want to sleep, disobedient, disrespectful, bad attitude, selfish…. She has many wonderful traits too, don’t get me wrong. She is independent, bright, outgoing and creative.
I’m just struggling right now with guiding her, helping her channel her weaknesses into strengths, with making right choices and seeing the good in her when all I can see sometimes is the bad. I’m trying to lean on Him and His wisdom but am not doing very well.
Sorry for the negativity, just having a challenging day, AGAIN…
Thanks for all you do, Kendra. I admire your ability to focus on your children’s hearts and to see the big picture. Wishing you much “downtime” soon.
June 14th, 2009 at 4:11 am
Kathy,
I only have four kids and do not claim to be an expert, but I have a very difficult child. She is now six and though she can be delightful she was born with a chip on her shoulder. Maybe she was mad her dad was in Iraq when she was born – I don’t know. Two weeks after my husband met her (3.5 months) he told me she had an anger problem. I did not recognize it, but he was right on.
It was really bad when she was in the 18-24 month category. I had another baby when she was 17 months and she just seemed to hate the world. She would test the limits, be dealt with Biblically and then turn around and do it again and again and again. It was so easy for my to get angry at her as she was so stubborn and there were times I would yell at her.
Anyway, fast forward to today when she is 6 and 4 months. Things are better but it is a growth process. Though I have not been perfect I have strived for consisitency in my response to her. Whereas my oldest and my other two require much less time to discipline she requires me to slow down – do nothing hasty. I think if she feels that I am trying to rush through the process she clams up. I still have yet to figure her out totatlly – she claimed the library was just trying to steal money from her when she got an overdue notice. I could not convince her that it was not a bad thing to charge fines and why it really helped.
My advice would be choose consequences and follow through consistently. When discipline is over fellowship should be restored. If it is not her heart is not won. At four or five I had to send this child to her room and wait till my husband got home – something I never do. She was just too out of control. When she was not restored there were times I have told her she was out of fellowship with the family and she could stay in her room until she was ready to make things right with God and whomever she has wronged. She has stayed in her room an hour before. When she was younger I would go in and ask her if she was ready to make things right, but if she wouldn’t I just let her stay. Of course during that time I am begging God for the soul of my child. It is a battle against Satan.
Slow down, don’t react to her. This is the only kid I have that has ever told me she hated me. Of course at 2 she also said she hated Jesus. Do not get your feathers ruffled.
We are seeing fruit in the life of our little one. Be patient. Take her to Scripture every chance you can for every offense you can. I think taking them directly to Scripture removes you as the bad guy. “Hey, God says children obey your parents.” You didn’t set up the plan, he did. I hope this helps just a little bit or at least tides you over while Kendra takes a break. My heart just goes out to you as I know how frustrating life with a difficult one can be, but there is HOPE in Christ.
God bless,
Megan
June 17th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Megan,
Sorry I haven’t responded to your post before now! Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
Briefly, I can identify with a little one being negative toward God and godly things. At various points, prayers, devotions, even talking about God have been met with resistance. However, she sings about Him all the time and loves her Bible stories now. Just a phase, I guess.
If I really am honest, I can look back to so many situations where “I” was at fault or mishandled things or provoked my daughter to exasperation. I have to humble myself so many times before the Lord and ask forgiveness and for grace.
I can also identify with this part… Of course during that time I am begging God for the soul of my child. It is a battle against Satan.” Have prayed a similar prayer many times.
Anyway, thank you so much. I’m going to print out your response for those times when I’m barely hanging on.
God bless you as you raise your little ones for His glory!
In Him,
Kathy
July 5th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I am new to homeschooling my 2nd grader. We’re doing a bit of schooling using Sonlight this year. I also have an 18 month old. We are able to do a bit of read-alouds and some activity sheets but then my toddler starts wanting attention and makes noises. Do you have any advise? Thank you very much.
July 5th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Hi Rose-
There are seasons for reading long chapters aloud and seasons for… not
My solution is to read a shorter amount at a time and/or to read during little ones’ naptimes. That’s the season we’re in right now with a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old. We’re happy to get in one chapter a day!
July 14th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
My 7th grade daughter will be studying some anthropology & sociology (in general & in the U.S.) this coming year. Do you have any suggestions on how to make this interesting for her? Books to read, activities, films, etc.
July 15th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I’m sorry, Val. I don’t.
July 30th, 2009 at 6:22 am
Kendra, are you in the DFW area? I coordinate a MOPS group and would love to have you come and share your wisdom. Email me!
July 30th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Hi Cheryl-
You are very gracious to ask me. I felt like I was hard on you in my last response and I’m thankful you are still here
I’m actually in CA and I do occasionally visit MOPS in the area. If I were closer, I’d love to speak for yours!
~Kendra