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Classic Re-Post: Can Homeschooling and Housekeeping Co-Exist?
By Kendra | March 17, 2010
Originally posted on September 22, 2007
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Hi Kendra,
I have been reading your blog on and off for about a year now and it has been such a blessing to me. I am a mother of three, ages 4,2, & 1, and I hope to start homeschooling next year. I don’t know any women experienced in homeschooling, so I have really taken in your thoughts and advice as a woman dedicated to God and her family. Thank you!
This year I have started really getting organized with my house cleaning. It isn’t perfect but it is much better than it used to be. I finally realized that everyone is a lot happier, including mom, when they have meals on time, can find their clothes and can walk without tripping on something! Anyways, I have lists of different things that I do on different days to keep my house in somewhat of order and it basically keeps me pretty busy. So it is seeming overwhelming to add homeschooling to the daily load! Did you ever feel that way? Someone told me that if you homeschool you won’t have a clean house because there is just not enough time in the day and you just have to deal with that. I don’t want to deal with that because I get stressed out when the house isn’t in working order. I am not a neat freak at all, but I just want peace and order in my home. Is that possible? I would love to hear your thoughts on that.
Thanks for all you do!
Jamie
Hi Jamie-
Yes and no. Does that answer your question? 
This is an area where I struggle, because I really like things neat, tidy, and clean. But there are nine of us living here all day long, and so I have had to learn to give it up to a reasonable degree. What is reasonable? Well, sanitary and tidy tend to be my criteria, but as my dear friend Cheryl has told me before, a perfect home is not worth sacrificing the relationships we have with our children. Amen and amen again.
I have had to come to terms with the fact that my first three children are boys. They do not see what I see. One is decidedly more organized than his brothers, but he is a pack rat and is learning what to hold on to and what to let go. And what *I* think is a clean kitchen and what *they* think is a clean kitchen are two different things. Entirely.
So now I have changed my MO. I still require that beds be made and rooms tidied before breakfast. I still require chores that help maintain cleanliness as much as possible, such as wiping down toilets with anti-bacterial wipes and emptying the trash. But I have also created a list that helps me to “hit” each room on a rotating basis to be cleaned out, decluttered, and put into some semblance of order. If it returns to disorganization within a few days, that’s ok. I’ll be getting back to it shortly.
I have written other posts in the past that address this topic, and I hope they are helpful on some level:
How Can I Homeschool if I Can’t Even Keep My House Clean? ( a reprint of an excellent article, but not written by me)
Organization and the Homeschool MP3 recording of a workshop I give at homeschool conventions.
Lastly, I am a huge proponent of hiring help, if it is within your means. Even if it is once a month to bail you out, consider it. We are one of a few nations who don’t hire household help, and I think we women have come to believe that it is somehow shameful if we do. Nonsense! Think back in history- has there been a time when moms did all the laundry, did all the housekeeping, did the gardening or sewing or decorating, cooked three meals a day, did all the shopping, cared for and nursed the babies, drove children to appointments, and were solely responsible for the education of their children? When you see all of that in print, does it seem unreasonable to hire someone to help you? Are there young women at church who would be delighted to iron basic items for you for a quarter per piece? Or come alongside you as a mother’s helper? Or weed, mow, or plant flowers? If you can get a few things off your plate, you might feel that the essential things like meals, laundry, household cleanliness, and school aren’t quite so unreachable.
Blessings,
Kendra
Topics: Chores, Home Organization, Life with Preschoolers, Resources, Uncategorized | 7 Comments »
March 17th, 2010 at 4:44 am
You didn’t mention Motivated Moms! I found them through you and they are my lifesaver!!
March 17th, 2010 at 6:10 am
Thanks for sharing this post! We have a almost 3 years old, a 16 months old and a baby that could be here anytime now (I’m on bed rest or house rest since last week ~26 week~ and will be for the next 7 weeks or so)
Or second child was premature by 6 weeks, and our first born is as I call it the tornado (yes she is a girls but she makes as much noise and mess as any boys~ maybe she is spending too much time with her 5 young uncles!!! My husband comes from a family of 12)
Anywho, you guess it! I try to get thing as clean as possible but with having our inlaws living 5 minute walk from here I have more then our 2 kids to pick up after (not that it’s bad I love having them over!!!) But my house is not PERFECT!!!
My dear husband knowing that my pregnancies are a concern health wise limits me to certain house chores and hires someone to come once a week to help out.
It’s a real blessing, and yes at first I was ashamed to have people over when our hired help was here!
What would they be thinking?!!! They will think I’m lazy etc… But as I read Prov31 I’ve notice that she has servant (or hired help) and that she was not alone trying to be a super women!!!
Thanks for sharing this post with all of us!
March 17th, 2010 at 7:36 am
This is something I have been working hard on, and one in which I’ve made huge progress.
I do have a question though. I read on one large-family mom blog that they do not start school (seat work) till the house is fully tidy and passes her inspection. A tidy home was the foundation of her day. When I embraced this, our days began going a million times better. Before, I was stuck on the idea that I had to start school at the crack of dawn “like everyone else” (i.e. public schools), while the house fell apart around us.
But what is a reasonable time to begin seat work after morning chore time? My children are all fairly small, I cook a hot breakfast every morning, and we are blessed that husband’s job does not require him to leave too early. Adding those things together, sometimes we don’t begin school until what I consider “late” (9 or later). I feel kind of guilty, like I should be starting earlier, but if I start earlier then the house is trashed, even if I get up early. Any tips?
March 17th, 2010 at 7:58 am
Stephanie-
The beauty of homeschooling is doing what works for your family. We are a late morning crew, not starting “real” school work until 10 or 10:30. Breakfast, devotions, and chores all happen before then, and that’s what works here. Because of juggling the little guys, much of our school work is done between 3 and 5 p.m. Unconventional, but it works for us, so who cares?
Carmen- Yes! You’re right!
March 17th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
As soon as I read you question I started to laugh. I am still waiting to wake up and my home will be magically neat and tidy. I try to keep things clean and for the most part it is.
A little about myself and my kids. My kids have never been to school. They are now 18, 13, and 12. It does get easier as the kids get older and toys do not magically end up on the floor moments after you put them away (I am thankful to Toy Story for explaining that mystery)
Something has to give! Homeschooling is a full time job, as is motherhood. If you have to chose between playing a game and sweeping the floor…..chose the game. My oldest is 18 and talking about moving out with a friend.
Trust me they grow up too fast. My grandma (95) says “you will ALWAYS have laundry, dishes and something to clean. You will NOT always have kids to raise.”
I have been homeschooling for a long time now. And I can tell you that NO homeschooling and housework do not go easily together. You can slack on housework or education.
If you can afford help get it! Most of us cant and those who can should NOT be ashamed of it. Just realize that we have more important things to worry about.
Now I hope that has all made sense. I have been up since 2 am with sick kids and I am taking my self to my unmade bed that probably has a pile of clothes that needs to be folded and I am going to try and sleep.
March 17th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
Michelle- I love what you shared, and thanks for making me laugh, too!
March 18th, 2010 at 5:17 am
I have found the e-mail reminders at Large Family Logistics to be helpful. She has reminders for household tasks as well as home school activities. It’s sort of a Fly Lady type system adapted for the homeschool mom of many.
http://largefamilylogistics.blogspot.com/