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Honoring Christ and Celebrating Christmas, Part I
By Kendra | November 13, 2009
There have been a few posts that hint at the coming Christmas season, but I received an email from Melinda recently that made me think perhaps we should talk a bit about the non-tangible aspects of celebrating Christmas.
Melinda wrote:
I would like to suggest a post regarding the holidays. These are my favorite three months of the year, yet my joy and peace somehow are always compromised! Perhaps there are things that have worked for your family you would like to share that help keep the focus on the Father. Jonelle [mutual friend] has mentioned that you send out a 4th of July card instead – things like that maybe.
Personally- can you give some insight as to how you budget Christmas? Or again, suggestions? Monetary or gift limits, etc. Yes, I want them to open something Christmas morning, but I feel so strongly that we should serve others first and concentrate on accepting the ultimate gift instead. I am unnerved by the expectation to purchase gifts for so many people! But maybe I did it to myself!
~Melinda
♥
Melinda-
Your questions are all very good ones, and I don’t think we should ever stop asking ourselves such things. We grow and change and respond to God’s leading differently in different periods of our lives and it is right that we are always assessing our motives, what works for our family, etc.
A little background: I was raised in a solid Christian home where we celebrated Christmas in all of the traditional ways- tree, stockings, presents, dinner, Christmas music, decor, cookies, sappy Hallmark movies, and really, really wonderful memories. My parents never did the Santa thing, instead choosing to tell us that he isn’t real, but Jesus is. We had a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake on Christmas Eve and sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. Still do.
My family was service-focused, too. I have memories of shopping with my mom for an underprivileged family each year and the incredible privilege of meeting them when we took everything to their homes. We loved on the women at the Women and Children’s shelter. We took in families with nowhere else to go, and the best holiday meals were ones with random families we collected over the years. Single guys. Missionaries on furlough. Young couples far from family. Even now, my mom takes my two oldest daughters every Thanksgiving to serve dinner at a local kitchen for the homeless. No one in our family bats an eyelash when there is another family or person joining us for a holiday meal; it’s how we were raised and we all really love it.
Fast forward to my own marriage and my own children. There wasn’t really anything my husband and I wanted to change about the way we’d celebrated Christmas as kids. We have had moments of pondering when we saw greediness in our kids, but it dawned on us somewhere along the line that they are children. No matter how much we focus on the real meaning of Christmas, no matter how many times we read the story of Christ’s miraculous arrival on earth, no matter how much we do for others, they are kids, and Christmas morning is all about the presents.
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child…”
It was all about the presents when I was a child, too. Slowly, though, God was doing a work in my heart and I distinctly remember the year I discovered the joy of giving. I was positively giddy about the gifts I’d painstakingly saved to buy for my parents and brothers and I couldn’t wait to give them on Christmas morning. In my growing maturity, Christmas suddenly became richer. I got it! This was what it meant to give and love others.
“…but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” ~1 Corinthians 13:11
We’re looking for these turning points in our own kids. Several are there already, and we praised God for the gift of their maturity. When we ask them what they love about Christmas, the receiving of presents isn’t on the top of their list anymore, but it shares an equal standing with many other aspects of the holiday. Our girls squealed with delight when Grammy called to schedule their trip to the mission to serve that Thanksgiving meal.
Part II next time. I’m getting a little wordy 
No snow in our part of California, but lovely cyclamen that grace the front porch.
Topics: Life with Preschoolers, Resources, Training Little Ones | 18 Comments »
November 13th, 2009 at 6:16 am
Thank you so much for this post! Can’t wait to read the rest. I especially love “We grow and change and respond to God’s leading differently in different periods of our lives and it is right that we are always assessing our motives, what works for our family, etc.” Every year as the Lord draws me nearer and I seek Him more our Christmas changes. It is a process as we all go from “glory to glory”.
We do not do Santa either and have had to defend that many times, in the church, while some even say that our family “does not celebrate Christmas”.
I won’t go into all that we do or don’t do because that is not important, what is important is that we are obedient to what God has called us to do as a family and again that changes. Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
One thing that has been part of our Christmas for many years is a traditional Cuban Christmas Eve dinner. We invite anyone and everyone, sometimes even strangers. The Lord brings different families every year and He brings different needs every year. It is one way for our family to share with others and just be present without giving presents. We also experience His presence together. It is always a fun time and a treat for those who have never had Cuban food. I look forward to who will come each year and what He will show me and teach through service.
I grew up doing the same things EVERY year and I needed that because it made me feel secure in a chaotic family and situations. I wanted to do that with my children too and tried, but my kids do not have the same issues and are SECURE in Christ, so we DO NOT have to do the same thing every year unless He calls us to it…like the Christmas dinner. We have skipped a couple of years where He called us to something else. It ALL comes back to “trust and obey”.
I loved your post about sibling presents and even began to prepare to do that with my children and the Lord gently reigned me in and said, “Not now.” It is such a wonderful idea and I really had to fight the urge to do it anyway, but in the end submitting to Him to keep my PEACE this Christmas.
Love your blog!
November 13th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Mari-
Thank you for sharing about your Cuban Christmas Eve. I’d love to come- where do you live?
Just kidding.
Your comments about needing things to be the same because of a chaotic home life is interesting. That never occured to me. We like to shake things up depending on the year and what’s going on, but I can surely see the comfort that maintaining traditions can be for someone in a less stable environment.
November 13th, 2009 at 9:02 am
me? I’m glad kids still appreciate their gifts. Buying gifts for my son and my nieces is all about the pleasure they get when they open it!
November 13th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Great post Kenj.
That’s a neat tradition your mom started. She sounds a lot like my mom.
We always had anyone who didn’t have a place at our table too.
Blessings!
Rebecca
November 13th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Thanks for that great reminder about children being, well, children. My children are only 18 months and 4 months old. My 18 month old is quite mature for her age and speaks well. I have really struggled at times with my expectations for her and compassion vs. consistent boundaries in her parenting (maybe a subject for one of your future posts?) At times, my husband has to remind me “remember, she is still really only a baby”. While I do think we need to show consistent boundaries and teach our children what is of most value (especially at Christmas time), it is good to remember that we were like this as children too!
November 13th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Thank you so much Kendra for the reminder that our children are exactly that – children! I tend to get so discouraged when I’ve spent time cultivating the message of Christmas and the importance of Jesus’ birth, just to have my daughter bring up presents again.
Also, after reading the post, I was somewhat convicted in my own behavior during the season. I think all of us, to some extent, make Christmas about gifts and other things too. With the shopping and all the commitments, it can be a struggle to retain focus and meaning during the season. I have four little sponges who are looking to me for the example. The description of your childhood Christmas memories were so touching, and so similar to what I want for my family. So I am determined and prayerfully searching for ways to keep Jesus at the front of our Christmas season – and I’m looking forward to your part two as well.
November 13th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
“We have had moments of pondering when we saw greediness in our kids, but it dawned on us somewhere along the line that they are children.”
Kendra
Thank you! You have just provided me with one of ‘those light bulb’ moments Wow, dobule wow!
November 13th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
What a refreshing look at Christmas Kendra! You are so right…kids are kids and they do mostly think of presents they get for a time. My kids are kind of enjoying this year coming up with things for their siblings, but it is very momma led..but of course, they are only 9 and 7 and the others are too young to care;-)
I also would like to someday have the ability of opening our home to others in need of a place for Christmas, but I must wait until we have a bigger place..until then we must find other ways of serving. Thanks for your ideas!
Anyhow, thanks for your thoughts and I look forward to enjoying the next part of your thought!
Blessings,
Sommer
November 13th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Well, if you feel like shaking things up all the way to Georgia…come on! The more the merrier!
Thanks for the reminder “kids are kids” – that came back to memory today when my 7 year old cried when I asked her to pick one stuffed animal to give to the nursing home this year. Had I not read your post this morning I may have made a big deal about it. Instead I’ll pray!
Yea, as a kid some of the only things I could count on were Thanksgiving and Christmas breakfast, both held at an Aunt’s house who treated me well and loved me and the whole family respected her home…everyone was on best behavior…so it was “safe” and consistent!
November 14th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Yes! Thank you for the reminder that kids are just kids and that we shouldn’t expect something more than that. *sigh* Thank you!!
November 14th, 2009 at 7:06 am
Thanks for sharing. As new parents , my husband and I have been discussing how we would like to celebrate Christmas. It is encouraging to see others celebrate it similar to the convictions we have. Blessings to you and your family.
November 14th, 2009 at 8:58 am
[...] read a great post over at Preschoolers & Peace about Honoring Christ and Christmas. Part I of a 2 part series. It was jut a great perspective on of course presenting CHRIST [...]
November 14th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Hi Kendra, thanks for this: my hubby and I had sat and planned our christmas on Friday morning so well timed! I’ve just finished reading “Treasuring God in our traditions” by Noel Piper (highly recommended!) which also got me thinking!
You’ve mentioned your christmas collection of books a couple times, and I was wondering if you could do a post that lists what’s in that box? If you’ve done one before then point me in the right direction! I scoured the site and only got as far as “one snowy night” and “the priest with dirty clothes”! :-/ We would really appreciate a few more suggestions!
One of the things we’d really love to do though is have a load of books and stories that we read around christmas time: I wasn’t brought up in a christian home and my parents had many stories we’d look forward to at christmas, it was a lovely tradition, but they’re not necessarily the same books I’d choose for my kids
thanks so much for all your wisdom over the years: you are often quoted in our house!
x
L
November 14th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Laura-
Thank you for your kind words; I really appreciate them.
I love the idea of a Christmas book post! I’ll get on that right away.
November 15th, 2009 at 6:42 am
(especially from the 3 kiddos who will love it!)
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:07 am
I will add my thanks to those above who benefited from the reminder that “children are children!” We have tried to keep our Advent/Christmas activities centered on Jesus, but I was heartbroken last week when my 7 year old told me his favorite holiday was Christmas, because he “gets lots of stuff.” We have had a hard time getting service-type things going. So much of this requires money (which we don’t have much to spare) or time (which we seem to have even less of!)
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:16 am
It’s a precept upon precept thing. Our children will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we celebrate Jesus! And we shouldn’t be shocked when they behave like children
November 29th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Whew, another refreshing post! This is great insight as to not beating ourselves up and celebrating is OK!